THIS IS THE TIME 該是時候了
THIS IS THE TIME
by Alan Chen (09-15-04)
By the time you are over fifty, more than half of your life’s journey is already past. At this stage, you have acquired some knowledge and experience; your physical condition is reasonably good; and your work is stabilized. That is about it. Your determination to get ahead has disappeared, and the drive
To climb the corporate ladder is waning. Maybe you’ve realized that a sudden breakthrough is highly unlikely, thus, you choose to simply live your life, follow the daily routine, and do the least that is expected of you. As for my own marriage, after twenty arduous years, my wife and I have exhausted nearly every argument possible. We’ve learned to compromise and put up with each other. Conflicts between the two of us have been in decline. We have begun to cherish each other’s companionship as we continue to travel on down the road. Theoretically speaking, the 10-year period between the age of fifty and sixty can be regarded as the “Golden Age” in our life - the peak of our lives. Nevertheless, as I look back, my heart suddenly trembles. It is not because I have been standing at a high mountain and feeling the chills. It is because of the sudden realization of the many empty spaces that have been left unfulfilled throughout my life.
At present, things seem to be going pretty much my way. I clearly know it is because of God’s blessings, which He has bestowed upon me through the years. His protection and tolerance have been fundamental. Taking all this into account, I’ve posed this question to myself: “Why can’t I pay back God’s love by initiating some acts of love in addition to just having a thankful heart?” Although I have been a Catholic all my life, as I was baptized in my early childhood, it was about ten years ago that I began to explore and truly understand my faith. And it was not until eight years ago that I began to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation. Yet the “free from sins” feeling usually don’t last very long afterwards. Although I never committed any grave sins neither did I do my part to accomplish anything spiritually uplifting.My peace of mind began to travel on a rocky road again.
Having roamed in the dark and barren valley for quite a while, my mind began to yearn for the light of day. I realized that the biggest obstacle on my way to a bright path was my ego. Once I overcame such thought, my heart became totally liberated and I felt completely free; the feelings of true freedom and relief were at my side. Once I’ve identified the root of my problem, I began a thorough process of self-evaluation. I finally recognized that the following traits were the contributing factors to my ‘original sins’: indifference, impassibility, blindness, unwillingness to listen to others, and of course, the selfish belief of “mind my own businesses” and the pride of “self-righteousness mentality.”
I believe this is why my past prayers were weak, insincere, and oftentimes did not get a response from God; it simply became a routine of self-talk. Self-analysis has broadened my viewpoint: suddenly my narrow vision has been expanded. I felt as if I have reached the end of a dark path, and an enchanting scene begins to unfold right in front of my eyes. For the past three years, I have been consistently praying for God’s mercy, that He would show me a way to do something that would glorify His name.
Something wonderful indeed has happened. In the course of my daily business and interactions with the people around me, God sent me the message that I should spread His word throughout the vast population of mainland China. What an awakening! “Yes!” The expansive land of China is my homeland, and the tens of thousands of people there are my brethren. We should pay more attention to that part of the world, where “harvest is abundant, labors are few.” But indeed, where should I start?
Since China opened her economic policy thirty years ago, the country has grown rapidly in all areas. At the same time, five big hidden crises have prevailed: political policy stagnation, a defective judicial system, corrupt government officials, environmental pollution, and a deepening gap between the rich and the poor. I knew that there was nothing I could do to change the first four situations. The only capacity in which I might be able to help out was to do something for the poor. “Give a man a fish - feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish - feed him for life”. An opportunity for underprivileged children to attend school was perhaps the beginning for them to finally step out of poverty. With this in mind, I began to head the direction of building a “Hope Elementary School” in a remote rural area of China.
According to the standards of the United Nations, any district with an average personal annual income lower than one hundred dollars is designated as an area of extreme poverty. According to China’s State Department, there are five hundred and sixty-two such areas. With such a large number, comprised of more than several hundred million people, how should I choose the right spot for this “Hope Elementary School”? My head felt numb and I was at a total loss. I grew up in an affluent family. From Taiwan to the United States, I have been very accustomed to a high quality of life. I even had difficulties sleeping in five-star hotels at times. How could such a delicate person endure the hardship of exploring a barren village in China, where even electricity and water are scarce? Even if I forced myself to do it, surely I would not last long. The mission seemed doomed from the start.
Didn’t Lord say: “My yoke is light”? He will not give us a tiny shoe in which to squeeze our foot and take on an unbearable burden. Our God lives with us every day. He probes our hearts. God is willing to help us and not let us lose our courage when we encounter difficulties, as long as we seek his assistance wholeheartedly. Thus, it was indeed incredible when He sent me the assistance I had been looking for in the form of the tour guide I met during my second tour of mainland China. Just like the Chinese proverb which stated: “While an intensive search for something you really want may get you nowhere, you may stumble upon it unexpectedly.” Mr. Zhu is from Zhechun County of He-Nan Province, which is one of those extremely poor areas in China. He has six brothers and sisters. His impoverished family background kept him from attending elementary school until he was eight. His family saved every penny they could, and, with the assistance of one of his brothers who worked extraordinarily hard, Mr. Zhu was able to complete a college education. He is the only well-educated person in the entire family. He taught English in a high school for many years. Meanwhile, his wife, Mrs. Zhu grew up in an orphanage; she is an elementary school teacher. Both of them value the importance of education and understand the difficult circumstances that plague their hometown. They have been longing for some assistance in aiding those underprivileged children who have been deprived of the opportunity of schooling. Hardly capable of making their own ends meet, they simply cannot assist others. In His own mysterious way, God has arranged two totally un-related parties in coming together for a common purpose. How we both wished that we have met each other way sooner. During our two weeks stay in China, we spent every possible moment together to discuss our ideas and plans with excitement. Oftentimes, we stayed up until midnight, rapt in conversation. Together, we enthusiastically planned a beautiful future.
I returned to the States on July 2nd. Through telephone, e-mail and fax, Mr. Zhu and I kept our lines of communication actively open. Mr. Zhu visited his hometown and began to actively gather information. He also explored several barren mountain areas in the provinces of He-Nan, Shaanxi, and Hubei. Finally, he recommended Village Jin Chia Gou as the right site for our new school. This remote village lacked transportation, the land was rigid, and some residents even slept on hays in a shed. Thirty one school-aged children were unable to attend school due to their geographical remoteness from any available school. Their conditions met our prerequisites perfectly.
Since the local government was unable to help, and the villagers had no other means to improve their situation, when they learned that some “old” oversea Chinese couple would be willing to sponsor them in solving their children’s educational difficulties, they simply thought it was unbelievable. It was as if manna had fallen from Heaven. Enthusiastically, they sent one person from each household to participate in the task of leveling the ground and broadening the narrow road. This would make the transporting of building materials much easier. With a true passion and exhilaration, the construction of Jin-Chia-Gou Hope Elementary School progressed rapidly like a raging fire. It was anticipated that the school would open its doors at the beginning of September.
Mr. Zhu once asked me what first prompted my wife and I to begin this incredible journey. He knew that we were neither millionaire nor had any relatives in that part of China. Many people were even likely to regard our mission as somewhat foolhardy. We told him that it was because of our religious faith. As Catholics, to preach the gospel is our mission; and by actively initiating acts of kindness throughout the world, we disseminate God’s love. Just as Jesus has said: “Whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you are doing it unto me.” The Holy Spirit must have impressed itself upon Mr. Zhu, for to my amazement, he became interested in the Bible. He even told us that he would like to go online to follow Father Lin’s Bible study guidelines. He began to conclude his e-mails and faxes with the statement, “May God bless us.”
Many people warned us to be vigilant when dealing with people from mainland China. People we knew had witnessed several disheartening past experiences. For example, when large donations were raised for the Educational Projects, less than one third was actually spent on the construction of the project; a majority of these funds was embezzled by various individuals and middlemen. On the other hand, successful stories that truly touched every heart existed, too. Suspicion and fear should not hold us back. A famous proverb I learned in elementary school stated: “Do not lament tribulation, do not worry about destitution, where there is a will, there is a way, determination can grind an iron pestle to a thin needle.” Mr. Zhu told me that he was truly honored by our complete trust in him as the handler of large sums of money—despite the fact we barely knew each other. And because of this trust, he was determined to knock down every obstacle that stood in his way on the road to success. He wanted to set a good example in order to put to rest the belief that “you can not trust people from mainland China”. He also said:”God is watching us when we are working.” He would not disappoint us.
September 3rd marked a historical event — one that I will even allow myself to boast. On that day, the “Jin-Chia-Gou Chue Shong Hope Elementary School” was completed and opened. We were rapt with joy, like new parents receiving their newborn baby, or a farmer reaping a brand new harvest. The local town leader, prominent educational officials, and sixteen school principals from high schools and elementary schools all traveled a long distance to attend the dedication ceremony. It was such an eventful occasion that many newspaper reporters were also present. It made the local headline news.
How wonderful it was that our monetary contribution provided many little brothers and sisters with the opportunity to fulfill their educational dreams. I closed my eyes and envisioned a powdery school field, dotted with children laughing and chasing each other. I also heard the loud recitations of young pupils learning their daily lessons. Ha! Ha! Ha! I was so elated that I could laugh out in my dream.
Addendum:
1. July 13, 2004: Bishop Dee Kong visited Los Angeles. He passionately reminded us of our evangelistic mission towards the people of mainland China. We felt so lucky to be part of it.
2. Now that the school has been built, how do we recruit teachers? Not to worry: their local education department will make the arrangements; they are not in short supply of teachers.
3. Will parents be able to pay for books and tuition? Although they are poor, for the sake of their children’s education, all parents will save every penny to buy what is necessary.
4. Since the Jin-Chia-Gou Hope Elementary School was built, word has spread to the outlying towns. Hundreds of letters applying for funds to build new schools or refurbish old school buildings have been pouring in. However, with limited resources, we are only able to sponsor one elementary school per year. I hope this article will serve as the driving force for more donors to join with us in this worthy cause.
該 是 時 候 了
陳 楚 雄 09-15-04
年過五十，人世的生命也去了大半。到如今，若論知識閱歷有那 麼一些，身體狀況各方面還算好，工作也蠻穩定的，其實也就這麼回 事，鬥志沒了，衝勁也後繼乏力，由於不容易再有所突破，只好“做一天和尚，敲一天鐘”吧！ 而婚姻嘛，經過二十年的慘澹經營，該爭 的也吵完了，彼此忍耐與妥協的結果，矛盾越來越少，接下來的日子也只好相扶相持的走下去。這樣看來，從五十歲到六十歲的十年中， 該算是這一生的黃金歲月，自己彷彿已登達人生的巔峰。但回首一 望，心裏不禁涼了半截，這並不是“高處不勝寒”，而是發現在許多過程當中留下不少空白。
目前諸事順遂的境況，自己心知肚明再清楚不過，這都是“託天之福”，靠著天主的保守和縱容才僥倖得之。但除了感恩戴德之外， 為什麼就不敢“以愛還愛”的回報呢？
打小領洗，教齡幾逾半百，雖然是個老教友，但直到十年前才對 自己的信仰有所了解，而八年前也才頭一次真正真實地向神父辦告解。將陳年舊惡出清了以後，著實過了幾年“無罪一身輕”的逍遙日 子。然而好景不長，雖然沒有再犯那些“形而下”的罪惡，但“形而上”的善功也沒有什麼成就可言，心理又開始起起伏伏沒有平安。
在心靈的死蔭幽谷中走久了，真的非常渴望見到陽光。而黑暗羈 絆的解脫、鬱悶窒息的舒暢，竟然只需要將橫梗在奔向光明之路上的 “自我”這塊大石頭挪開就可以通行無阻。既然找到問題的癥結，就 得想辦法解決。好生生的把自己從裏而外徹底的剖析批判，終於認清自我的“原罪”竟是出於“莫不關心”、“無動於衷”、“視若無睹”、“充耳不聞”、“自掃門前雪”的冷漠，當然其中還包括 “獨善其身”的自私和“自以為是”的驕傲在內。這就難怪為什麼我以前的祈禱總是 那樣軟弱無力、有口無心，也難怪所祈求的得不到天主的回應，而只落得個自說自話罷了。
反躬自省的結果使自己不再見樹不見林，山窮水盡的心靈視野也因而柳暗花明。過去三年來，一直用誠摯的心不斷地祈求上主垂憐，為了光榮祂的聖名，自己很願意按照天主的旨意接受派遣。
奇妙的事情發生了，上主藉著周遭的人、事、物，讓我逐漸認識 到，向中國大陸傳福音是我應該努力的目標。此意向驚醒了我這個夢中人。是啊！幅員廣大的中國不僅是我們的母國，眾多的人民也是我們的手足同胞，我們是應該對那塊“莊稼多，工人少”的地方多上上心。可是得從何處著手呢？
中國改革開放二十年來各方面突飛猛進，但也隱藏著五大危機﹕ 「政治僵化、法治不彰、貪污腐敗、污染公害、貧富懸殊。」估量一下自己的斤兩，前四項我是無能為力，唯獨對濟弱扶傾方面尚可略盡 棉薄。然而，給人魚不如教他如何捕魚。只有幫助失學兒童，才能使他們有機會脫離窮苦。於是在遴選的貧窮偏遠鄉村，興建“愛心小學” 就成為我們的努力方向。
根據聯合國的標準，個人年均所得低於一百美元的地區，由中國 國務院民政局評訂統計全國共有五百六十二個特貧縣。這麼多的地方，超過好幾億的人口，“愛心小學” 的興建須從何處開始？ 該如何認定？要怎麼個蓋法？ 想想都讓人頭皮發麻、無所適從。況且我又是個從小嬌生慣養，在台灣、美國這麼好的生活環境養尊處優慣了，就連住宿五星級大飯店也不得安眠的溫室花朵，怎麼能夠到大陸那些水電短少、物質缺乏的窮鄉僻壤，去爬山涉水、餐風飲露的實地勘查呢？ 縱使我勉強為之，也必不能持之以恒，沒兩下就只好鳴金收兵、打道回府了。
上主不是允諾“祂的軛是輕柔的”嗎？祂決不會給人穿小鞋，讓你承受不起那所負之重。並且祂洞察人心是生活的天主，只要我們誠心誠意，在遇到困難危急時，祂必施予救援，不教我們灰心喪志。說來真是奇妙，這次天主派來的幫手，竟是我們第二次到大陸旅遊，負責接待的全陪朱先生，真所謂“踏破鐵鞋無覓處”，得來全不費功夫”。
小朱來自河南省淅川縣為全國特貧縣之一，家境清寒，有兄弟姐 妹六人，八歲時方進小學讀書，全家節衣縮食及靠著二哥打工資助， 才得以完成大學教育，成為全家唯一的高級知識份子，曾任中學英文老師多年。朱太太在孤兒院長大，現為小學老師。兩人深知地方之苦 和教育的重要，能夠幫助失學兒童一直是他們長久以來魂縈夢牽的願望，但自顧尚且不暇，那還有餘力幫助別人。
在天主的安排下，遠隔重洋的我們機緣巧會的碰在一塊。一方有心，另方有意，又有共同的理想，怎不教人相見恨晚。兩個多禮拜的朝夕相處，幾乎每晚我們都促膝長談到深夜，滿心喜悅地編織著我們共同的美好願景。
七月二日回美後，日子就在越洋電話、電子郵件和傳真機的聯絡中興奮度過。小朱更是趁返家省親之便，積極的展開探訪調查工作。 不數日即來電匯報，在河南、陝西和湖北交界三不管的群山峻嶺中， 找到金家溝村這個交通不便、地瘠民貧，還有人在睡稻草的窮困地 方。該處約有三十一位由於山川阻隔或因其他原因輟學的適齡兒童，在在符合興建“愛心小學”的必要條件。
在地方政府愛莫能助，自力救濟又無方的情況下，當地村民聽說有兩個分隔萬里的“老”華僑，願意資助他們在住地就近建校解決子女的求學問題，認為好像天上掉下來的餡兒餅（天降瑪納），簡直是前所未聞、難以置信。紛紛願意一戶出一個勞動人力來幫忙整平校地，拓寬對外小徑以利建材運輸上山。於是金家溝村愛心小學的興建 工程，就在大家歡欣鼓舞、興奮期待下如火如荼的迅速展開，各方都熱切盼望小學能在九月初完工開學。
小朱曾好奇的詢問﹕我們既非富豪巨賈，又不和他們沾親帶故， 是什麼動機想要做這件外人眼中的傻事？我們趁機告訴他是因為我們 的信仰，傳揚福音是我們教友的天職，而福音就是要將天主的 “愛” 以行動傳遍天涯海角，對小弟兄所做的一切善功，就是為天主所做。你不由得不讚歎聖神的奇妙化工，小朱居然對聖經興致勃勃，並應允會上林思川神父的聖經講座網站去了解一二。而且每次在電子郵件和傳真的結尾上都會使用“天主保佑我們“ 的祝福 。
很多人好心的向我們勸說， 對大陸人要小心提防，免得吃虧受騙。確實有許多令人痛心的失敗例子，如各方捐款所推動的希望工 程，真正到位用於建校的經費比例不及三成，其他大部分不是被中飽私囊，就是遭層層剝削殆盡。縱然如此，還是有許多感人肺腑的成功案例。我們不能因為懷疑害怕而裹足不前。記得小學曾讀到乞丐武訓興學中的一段﹕「莫歎苦、莫愁貧，有志竟成語非假，鐵杵磨成繡花針。」小朱也說﹕我們素昧平生，居然將這麼大的一筆款項交付給他，是對他誠實人格的最大信任和獎勵。他一定要排除萬難、全力以赴，並且要做出好樣來打破大陸人不可信賴的迷思。他還說﹕「人在做，天在看。」他決不會辜負我們的知遇之恩。
九月三日這具有歷史性的一天，值得用濃墨重彩大大渲染一筆。 因為“金家溝村楚雄愛心小學”終於完工開學了。就像初熟的甜美果實讓人歡樂踴躍，又像新生的嬰兒令父母欣喜若狂。當天鎮長、地方教育領導和周圍十六所中小學的校長都翻山越嶺來參加開學典禮。真是轟動鄉里、盛況空前。連報社記者都聞風趕來採訪，成了當地報上的頭條新聞。
我們只不過出資捐款，卻能幫助不少小弟兄們上學，又能完成多少人的念想，這是多麼令人快活的美事。閉起雙眼，我彷彿看見塵土飛揚的校園上追逐嬉戲的兒童，耳邊也響起課堂中朗朗的讀書聲。 哈！ 哈！ 哈！ 我連在睡夢中都會笑出聲來。
附記 ﹕
1. 七月十三日，狄剛前總主教蒞臨洛杉磯，疾聲呼籲大家不要忘記對大陸同胞的福傳使命。我們能勉力參與，實感三生有幸 。
2. 學校有了，那老師呢？ 不用擔心，地方教育部門會負責提供。 他們人手無缺，就怕沒有工作。
3. 家長付得起書本學費嗎？ 他們雖窮，但天下父母心，為了孩子的教育，他們還是可以節省出來的。
4. 金家溝村愛心小學的興建一事，很快的就傳遍附近，各地申請興建和幫助修復學校的信函如雪片飛來。但僧多粥少，我們能力也有限，只能一年捐建乙所小學。那麼這篇文章拋磚引玉，希望各位善男信女能夠共襄盛舉的目的也就意在言外了。